Aaron Quinn is a stand-up comedian who lives in Madison, Wisconsin. He will also die there, but he doesn’t know that yet so keep it to yourself for the time being. For those of you who are curious, he will be eaten by wolves commuting in from Chicago. Seriously, don’t tell him. Some of his best friends are wolves and it would kill him to hear about this.
Aaron has been lighting up stages all across the state for over a year now. Sometimes with his cutting-edge stand-up material, but more often with his trusty pocket flashlight. With his dry, deadpan style of comedy, he has often been compared to popular comedian Aaron Quinn. Which makes a lot of sense if you think about it.
You may not want to hear this, but if you don’t go see Aaron Quinn perform, you are probably not a good person. Double-blind studies have proven this to be true with only a 3.2 % margin of error.
On a completely unrelated note, Aaron recently triumphed over both Pepsi and Coca-Cola in a national taste test, but was inexplicably beaten by Canada Dry. In a fit of confusion, he immediately swore to avenge his loss by plotting to give Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper an atomic wedgie. He was arrested shortly thereafter and his revenge was limited to sending the Prime Minister a strongly-worded email greeting card. It remains his most stunning defeat to date.