The Secret World Of Old People At Burger King

I went to Burger King for breakfast this morning and there were a surprising number of old people loitering in the dining area. I didn’t think much of it at the time. Also, I didn’t think much of it later. But there was a good 35-minute window where I thought about it a moderate amount.

My thoughts:

1) There sure are a lot of old people here.

And the weird thing is that none of them moved the whole time I was there. It was like I was standing in a wax museum, except that I wasn’t completely bored.

2) Why is that old guy staring at me?

Turns out he was dead. I don’t care what anyone says, it’s still rude.

3) How is it possible that they all have their own copy of the newspaper?

This one is on me. I just recently became aware of an invention called the “printing press”. I initially thought that each newspaper had to be handwritten by newspaper elves or minorities. My congratulations to Johannes Gutenberg on that printing press idea. It’s no cotton gin, but it’s still pretty solid. Also… Eli Whitney rules! He rules all other inventors! Suck on it Edison!

Note: My apologies to my loyal reader(s), but my computer was recently hacked by Eli Whitney’s great-great grandson. This blog takes no official stance on whether or not Eli Whitney rules.