Introducing The World’s First GPS For Cats

in Comedy, Featured Articles by Aaron Quinn — September 16, 2009 at 16:34 | 1 comment

With the recent news of Clyde The Cat returning home after a 2400 mile journey into the Australian Outback, the market for GPS devices for cats couldn’t be any hotter.

Over the past few years, there have been plenty of electronic collars released on to the market that allow paranoid cat owners to track their cat’s movements, but until now, there has never been a GPS device sold exclusively for use by cats themselves.

The GarminTom 2450 changes all of that.

When I first brought up this idea to my friends and family, they thought I was crazy. They said things like “cats aren’t smart enough to operate a GPS” or “cats don’t have any money” or “I don’t think I love you anymore.”

These are all valid criticisms, but I’ve thought this through.

While it may be true that cats are dumb and have no money, you have to admit that focusing on that kind of demographic has worked pretty well for WalMart. (Ohhhh snap, you just got burned Sam Walton! Burned!)

The key is that the GarminTom 2450 Cat GPS will have all the standard GPS features, but it will also have additional, cat-specific functionality. For example, it has an extensive points of interest (POI) database that includes the locations of over 10,000 dead birds.

And as a special treat for owners who buy the device for multiple cats, the 2450 Cat GPS will allow you to pinpoint the exact moment in your life when you knew that you would be alone forever.

If you love your cat, you’re going to want to go pick one of these up. In fact, I’m just going to say it: if you don’t buy it, it’s proof that you don’t love your cat. And unloved cats often turn to hard drugs.

Just remember our slogan:

“If you don’t want your cat mixing crystal meth into its Fancy Feast, get out your wallet and buy the GarminTom 2450 Cat GPS today!”

Tags: Featured Articles